MEGA-POST

So, we have mega corn now. I am very excited about it. And actually, it is spelled MEGA-CORN, and when you say it, you have to kind of sound like Megatron, except legally and distinctly different from Megatron. Some theaters have small, medium, and large popcorn. We have Regular, and MEGA-CORN. It’s awesome. Sorry I didn’t warm you up with a joke or something…I kinda just went right to business there. I know better, I just couldn’t help myself. I mean, it’s MEGA-CORN.

I know you didn’t just come here for my witty banter, you want to know what is up. Alright, I know you want to hear some great jokes too, but I have a lot to cover with you today so we have to be kind of serious. To save us all some time, those of you who want a corny joke, click here. The rest of you can just read on.

Now that we have distracted all the goofballs with that link, us serious people can have a machoor conversation. First on the docket, the scourge of Main Street: Pigeons. Some of you may have noticed that those little buggers pushed aside some of the marquee glass and took up residence in the there. Well guess what. Two can play at that game. I have also taken up residence in the marquee. It was a bit of a tight fit, but I got a sleeping bag and a bag of Cheetos in there, so I’m good. I figure after a week or two they will get the hint. I’ll keep you posted.

Okay, I didn’t really do that. What we did do though, is hire a professional to relocate the pigeons. They will be moving to a nice house in the suburbs, all expenses paid. I hear it is a nice neighborhood, with a good school. As for the person whose car hood was used as a personal pigeon latrine during the June movie event…I am very sorry…If you make yourself known to me I will reimburse you for the car wash that you undoubtedly needed after leaving the movie. Come to think of it, in all the time I have spent here I have only noticed that one car get pooped on so heavily…so now I am wondering if you crossed the wrong pigeon at some point in your past and now they follow you around defiling your vehicle. I may have to rethink my offer for the car wash, I do not want to get on the wrong side of a kit of pigeons. (Yes, I had to look up what a group of pigeons is called, sue me.)

More exciting news; we will be painting the facade very, very soon. Don’t get too excited, we are painting it the same color it is already: peeling and faded. Joking, you can’t buy pre-peeled, pre-faded paint, you gotta work for it. It will be the same color though. Are we excited to paint the front? If you could see the look on my face right now, you would have that answer. It’s like, 30 freaking feet tall man! Let’s just say we are excited for it to be painted ;) It will look pretty shnazzy when it is done though. We will not be painting the marquee just yet, we will be resealing the top of it though so it don’t drip when mother nature spits on it.

Next thing is, next movies. In August we will be showing The Matrix, Little Shop of Horrors, and The Shawshank Redemption. Baller lineup, right? We will be announcing this in the next day or so, but for the three of you who read this post right away, you will know before all of your friends! They will be like, “How did you know?!” and you will be like, “Kuz I read boi (or girl)!”

It wouldn’t be an update post if I don’t talk about toilets at some point. So here you go. Toilets. They still don’t work, BUT, (holds up a finger) but, we have an idea for a fund raiser to raise some funds for that project. I can’t tell you what it is yet, mostly because I don’t want to get your hopes up if we can’t do what we are planning. No, it is not a Weird Al concert. That would be cool though… As soon as we know if our plan is a go, we will let you know, fo sho. Halfway though that last sentence I was going to start over so it didn’t rhyme, but then I just went with it…

Una cosa más. We are now keeping the posters for sale in the old popcorn holder thingy, so they are visible. Honestly, it is just because I needed the space where they were being stored for something else. To all of you out there who asked to “see the goods”, I have to tell you I teared up a little when you did. Thank you for that, it means a lot to me. Maybe in the future we will come up with another “secret” thing to sell.

Here we go, the sad part, the end of the post. But I have a surprise for you! When you started reading this, you probably had no idea that you weren’t reading a normal blog post, you were reading a MEGA-CORN sandwich post! That’s right! We are starting and ending with MEGA-CORN! When we introduced the MEGA-CORN, we also introduced the MEGA-COMBO. The MEGA-COMBO includes the following: 1x MEGA-CORN, 2x Beverages, and 2x Candies. I know, I just blew your mind, right?? Alright, let’s leave on that high note. We love you guys, Stay Nerdy!